


You are what you hide

by Lilibet



Series: October 2020 prompts [20]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Can be read as gen, M/M, Qui-Gon Jinn Lives, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilibet/pseuds/Lilibet
Summary: What would you do to save the one you love?
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: October 2020 prompts [20]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1949062
Comments: 6
Kudos: 31





	You are what you hide

**Author's Note:**

> For the angstober day 20 prompt "deception".

“You deceived me.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I could hardly tell you after –“

“No, I mean why didn’t you let me die?”

Obi-Wan flinches as though he’s been slapped. “There was no other choice, master! You were dying, what was I supposed to have done?”

“Let me go. It was my time to join the force Obi-Wan, you should have let that happen.”

Obi-Wan snaps his jaw shut and clenches his teeth so hard they could snap durasteel. “Fine. I’ll leave you at the hands of the next sith that impales you in the chest, then.”

He turns to leave, the words he doesn’t really mean bitter-tasting in his mouth, but Qui-Gon desperately grabs his upper arm.

“No wait, I didn’t –“

Obi-Wan wrenches his arm out of Qui-Gon’s grip and whirls around to face him, yellow eyes blazing as he squares up to his master.

“You didn’t what? Didn’t mean to recklessly charge ahead when you should have waited for me? Didn’t mean to come within stepping distance of death? _Didn’t mean to have two apprentices fall to the dark?”_

Obi-Wan breathes hard at his outburst, feeling infinitely better and worse at the same time. He hadn’t meant to say that last one, but once he’d started, he couldn’t stop, the words spilling out from his chest in an uncontrollable gush.

“I –“ Qui-Gon opens and closes his mouth, words eluding him, and it’s the first time in Obi-Wan’s life that he’s seen Qui-Gon visibly uncertain. He stands there, arms crossed, staring at him as Qui-Gon stares down at his clasped hands.

The silence stretches on for so long he doesn’t think Qui-Gon’s ever going to say anything again, stunned into silence by Obi-Wan’s cutting words.

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.” Qui-Gon says quietly. Obi-Wan’s eyebrows twitch into a frown and Qui-Gon takes a fortifying breath before forging on.

“When he kicked you off the platform,” Qui-Gon meets his eyes with an intensity Obi-Wan wasn’t expecting, “I have never known fear like it. It possessed me, becoming a ball of burning rage and a single-minded need to get him as far away from you as possible. To keep you safe.”

Obi-Wan’s arms fall slack at his sides as he feels the truth of Qui-Gon’s words resound in the force around them. Tears prick at his eyes at the thought that he would also have fallen to the dark if it meant keeping Obi-Wan safe.

He would not wish that fate for his master, and he is glad despite everything that Qui-Gon’s eyes are still blue.

_Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering._

Yoda’s words echo in his ears. Yes, his actions were out of fear, he won’t deny that. Fear of losing Qui-Gon, of living in a world without his laugh or his smile, his warm steadying presence. That fear controlled him, led him to tap into the side of the force he vowed he never would.

But his actions were also out of love.

And to his dying day, Obi-Wan will never regret an action made out of something as pure and untainted as love.

He knows he cannot stay at the temple. Qui-Gon knows it too. They share a look of resigned understanding, and Qui-Gon tentatively reaches out with the force, gently stroking Obi-Wan’s own force presence, cloaked until now to avoid detection. Just until his master had recovered enough.

Qui-Gon is so bright in the force. He always has been, but Obi-Wan hasn’t been able to appreciate the sheer luminosity of him until now.

After all, stars can’t shine without darkness.


End file.
